I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
I’ve been on an intentional quest of maturity spiritually, emotionally and socially. For the last 3 years, I’ve been stretched in so many ways and I learned that I have a lot of growing to do. I remember back in 2019 I experienced a tinge in my heart after seeing a friend begin a relationship with an accomplished eligible bachelor. Truthfully, I looked at a snapshot of their reality and did not have the full view of their experience. This was a tugging undercurrent for about three days. After three days, I took some time to ponder what I was feeling. I received clarity that I was experiencing envy.
I do my best not to minimize my emotions and thoughts when I have clarity of what I am feeling. I sit with my emotions and thoughts and allow Holy Spirit to reveal to me the root cause and insight on what I need to release, embrace, and remain still in. I researched envy and learned that it is an emotion which "occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have.” I asked Holy Spirit what the root of this emotion was and the Spirit of Truth let me know it was fear. I searched my heart and realized that envy developed in my heart because of unchecked fear that was permitted to be in my heart. Now that it was exposed and not just a floating unnamed emotion, I knew what to do next. I thanked Holy Spirit for bringing this issue to the surface and I asked the LORD to purify my heart. I prayed for my friend and the bachelor and asked God to bless them as they navigate courtship. I rehearsed the goodness of the LORD knowing that ELOHIM is not a respecter of persons. I believe that the LORD is the Good Sheppard who will lead and guide me and provide a most loving and compatible husband for me at the right time.
During my reflection this evening I am reminded that I can seek the LORD in all things big and small and find understanding, answers and deliverance throughout my life. I love partnering with ELOHIM and receiving abundant empowerment through grace to overcome the challenges of life. The challenges that I have experienced reprove me and sift my heart and allow my divine qualities to shine and come to the forefront. I am grateful for the freedom and liberty that I experience today. Now, I can say that I am not weighed down by fear or disappointment. I am genuinely happy for my friend and the bachelor. I look forward to the future with hope knowing that I will be healthier and wiser as I do the work necessary to heal and be ready for love when it comes.
Thank You, Adonai Shamma, for being a faithful refuge. You’re present in every situation as You have gone before me. LORD Jesus Christ, You are the Answer to every challenge that I face. I love that You journey with me in life as I face difficulty. Thank You for giving me insight when I pray and ask You for wisdom. You never rebuke me for doing so and You never leave me alone to figure it out with my own capacity. Thank You for giving me the answers I need to be delivered from everything that I fear by displacing fear with love and hope. Amen.
written by Myrina K. Robinson
Duke Divinity School MDiv 2022
Guest Blogger for BWET Blog
Words of wisdom to live by from our Senior Leader, Bishop Earnest E. Robinson, Sr. and other guest writers.